today was going to suck no matter what i did before or after. today was the day me and sky were to go to my parents' place so i can get the belongings i really wanted that i still hadn't brought to the apartment yet. this is a big occassion because this will mostly be the last time i willingly go see my parents in any capacity, barring any odd circumstance. after all that has happened since i came out last june, i've known that i don't have anymore energy to give to them. it's just not worth my effort when i'm not getting the respect i deserve.
we got to their place around 2PM, and we weren't there for more than 10 minutes. i mainly wanted to get my roland workstation keyboard out of there, along with its amp and accessories. i saw my mom and dad, the latter of which i didn't even speak a word to, hardly even a glance his way. he doesn't deserve it. he even asked "you aren't even going to say hello to me?" the cognitive dissonance is immense. but we got everything squared away, and my mom asks as i'm walking out "will you keep in touch?" to illustrate the stupidity of this question, this was also the occassion i handed them my phone because they literally cut me off of their phone plan because i didn't go to their christmas party. i said nothing and me and sky headed out.
i was feeling like shit already, and after a quick stop at sheetz, sky asked me if i wanted to go to the riverfront like i had wanted the day before. i told her no, i just want to get home and forget all about this. she said alright, and we headed on our way home.
for about 3 miles
as we headed on the highway, i felt a rattling in the rear of my car. a minute or so later, my right rear tire completely blew out. i safely got the car to the shoulder of the road, and stared at the floor in disbelief. sky came up to the window and put her arms on the window sill, and said nothing. i cried, a lot. and cried some more after that.
why now. of all times why now. why at all? why anything. this is hell. i'm in hell.
this started a whole saga of figuring out how to jack my car off the ground, calling places to find a replacement tire. oh did i mention my spare tire was fucked up and not road-worthy? yeah somehow inspection passed with that knackered thing. with the help of a couple friendly folk in a white suburban, sky was able to get the wheel off and put it in her trunk so we could take it where we needed to get a new tire. it took us 7 phone calls to different places to find one in the area that had a tire like mine in stock. 23 minutes of driving in her car and 140 dollars later, we headed back to where my car was and got ready to put the new tire on. as we pulled up, i noticed something was off. ...no really, something was OFF. the hazard lights i had left on when we drove off, weren't flashing.
the battery in my car was dead.
i felt like i was in a slapstick comedy movie. i was spiraling. how is any of this happening. thank god i have sky, she consoled me through the entire process, and let me stay in her warm car while she braved the cold wind to put my tire back on and attempt to jump start my car. it was so ridiculous, but we had to get her car facing the wrong way on the shoulder to get in position to jump it. we somehow did it, avoiding any traffic that could've hit us. and with some effort, my car was jumpstarted.
it was a bit bumpy but smoothed out eventually, and i was finally home. that was about 4 hours ago as i type this. that whole ordeal was 4 hours of grueling hell that i cannot even believe happened to me. it's still just baffling thinking on it now. i'm gonna go out in a bit to make sure my battery actually charged in that time, but regardless i am just happy to have a not blown out tire on my car again. and above all else, i am so so happy to have sky as my partner. everytime we encounter an issue like this, whether personal or just circumstancial, we strengthen each other with our love and work through it. she's beautiful and has a beautiful soul, i am so incredibly lucky to have a partner like her. and in times like this in my life, where i'm distancing myself away from my blood family more and more, having someone like sky is a legitimate blessing.
but in any case, today was a nightmare. this whole month has been so far. so much stupid and bad shit has happened that there's hardly been a bright spot. but the one saving grace is that, abbey is having these issues. these aren't the issues of someone who can't be themselves. these are issues of someone who is their own person. and at least, i can have that.